It overflows
by Yuleo
Summary: How do we survive at night, when the elements bring our demons to the surface and make the sea overflowing of our eyes? When you're alone and can't go anymore, without anyone to talk?


Hello there !

This is the first time I traduce something that big. And, well, I'm not that good in english (neither are google or reverso but I needed help)...

Anyway, I hope you'lle enjoy it ! (and I'm so sorry because I love Lance but I make him suffer again...)

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The sea in his eyes moves and overflows without preventing the unleashing of elements. He's shaking, the poor guy, he's shaking from despair. The wind screams in his throat and it escapes in cries. The ship is calm, everyone is sleeping while his soul explodes in shape. They cut his skin, falling on the ground where he is already resting. A storm rages inside him, with as epicentre his heart **.** Blackness encompasses all, blackness and silence. Because, in space, there is neither heat or noise. From the depths of him, goes back this monster of abysses that he tries to drown, without success.

He's alone in the middle of the night, alone with his unease, alone in the entire universe.

It overflows, everything overflows. He regurgitates his fears and insomnia, his doubts and anxieties. From the depths of his bowels, a powerful cyclone brings everything to the surface. And he's way too powerful for him to keep everything inside. Pandora's box is open, but hope has never been inside. He's emptied little by little of everything, leaving only an empty shell.

He needs heat, the sunshine man, to live. He needs the golden stars that burns in the sky and which seems so far away now on. He needs the rain, the blue human. He needs that pure water that falls from the sky to purify from everything that's devour him from the inside. He needs love, the mother's child. He needs this large family who loved and surrounded him even when he was far away.

But here he is, lost in a war he doesn't really understand, in a team which work in pairs when they are an odd number.

He wanted to show that he was free, in the infinite sky. He's locked in a ship which travels far from everything he knows. His freedom is limited to the tasks entrusted to him, to the orders he follows, even if he does want. His freedom doesn't exist because he isn't listened and he can't leave. He's prisoner from something too important compared to him.

And the smile on his lips is falling little by little. And soon it will not be able to reach his eyes. And soon the wall he erects around his emotions will crumble off to become dust. And soon, anything which make Lance Lance will disappear. And, at that moment, he will be useless.

He's not a genius like Keith. He's not a leader like Shiro. He's not smart like Pidge. He's not comforting like Hunk. He's not good with mechanic like Coran. He's not pragmatic like Allura. He's just him, a useless flirty boy, a joker who does not make anyone laugh, not even a sniper, barely a shoulder to cry on. If he loses his smile, if he loses this faculty that allows him to make the castle a little less empty and to keep a little more all his head, then he will have nothing left.

He finds himself confined in a bubble of loneliness, he can't confide in anyone. Who would understand? Who could understand it? Who would consider it? Who would support him? Even he has no answer... And they are too busy to be able to be a shoulder on which to complain. And he does not want to be more of a burden for the team...

He is desperately trying to hang on to something. His clothes have long since lost the laundry smell of the Garrison. He is still looking for it, knowing full well that he will not find it again. All he has left is the music, the one his mother was looping through the house, smiling. While falling asleep, a blindfold to focus on it, it's like being on Earth. And the shock upon awakening is every time as horrible. Because he believes in it, he believes that by removing the blindfold, the sun will illuminate his room and the twins will enter the room so that he takes them to the seaside. But no, there is only the blue walls and the sanitized smell. His room smells like a hospital, she shelters his future madness.

His memories sail towards oblivion. Little by little, details disappear from his memory. The features of his brother, the clothes of his grandmother, the decoration of the house, the smile of his mother... All of this terrifies him. Will he forget Spanish? The name of his beloved sisters? The way to go from home to the sea? The smell of his father's **cook**? The laugh of his nephew? How much is our memory infallible? He knows that the more time passes, the more he forgets. And it's unbearable. The idea of forgetting those he loves is unbearable.

But he is exhausted to fight against these elements, to go against the wind. How long will it last? How long will he remain complete? His soul can switch into darkness at any time. The wind is strong and the wire on which it stands is very thin. Sometimes cuts appear on his skin, as not to fall. The pain brings him back to the present and the silence because those voices, that insult him are finally quiet. It is still unbearable to him, but the hurricane is no longer raging in him. The red blood slices with all that it is, slices with its blue. This vision reminds him that he is not perfect, that he should be more like Keith strong as Keith obeying as Keith calm like Keith. Keith, the genius he wants so much. Even his blood comes to remind him the miserable paladin he is.

And the tide goes down, the wind calms down. The elements are done with him for this time, but they will come back because we can't control them. And when they leave, they take away his ramparts, which he erects each time to repel them, but which they always surpass. Here he is, weak on the floor of his room, waiting for a peace that will not come. Morpheus has been leaving him for months, a sudden rupture against which he can do nothing. So, he waits, listening to his heart beat to make sure he is alive.

And the drought invades him, the child of water no longer exists because there is no longer a drop in him. There remains only a desert in his heart. And no doubt that tomorrow he will have to tell that the night has been calm and no storm has invaded his dreams. But the marks of the elements under his eyelids will betray the victory of his demons.


End file.
